God Told Me to Start a YouTube Channel + Blog | My Faith + Mental Health Testimony
April 5, 2018 – The Day My Life Almost Ended
I took over 70 pills with the intention of never waking up.
Seventeen years old.
Tired. Heavy. Invisible.
But instead of dying, I encountered the Lord in the depths of my pain.
That moment – the one that I thought was going to be the end – became the beginning of a life I could have never imagined. And now, years later, I find myself sitting in front of a camera, finally saying yes to something I’ve been running from for a long time:
Youtube.
When God Speaks… and You Ignore Him
In 2020, I had a dream where I heard the Lord say, “Social media is the answer.”
I didn't understand it. I didn't like it. I didn't feel capable of doing it.
Maybe I misheard Him. Maybe he meant that message for someone else.
I’m introverted. I battle social anxiety. I’ve been through so much. Why would anyone listen to me?
I didn’t have the equipment, the skills – or the confidence.
So I did what most of us do. I brushed off the instruction and moved on – half-heartedly dabbling in content creation while wondering why things felt fruitless.
I did the absolute bare minimum just to say I was being “obedient.”
It worked until last month when the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Delayed obedience is still disobedience.”
Whew. Let’s take it to the Word and learn a thing or two from my main man, Moses.
Who is Moses?
If you’re not familiar with Moses, here’s a quick breakdown:
Moses is one of the most significant figures in the Bible – a prophet, a leader, a deliverer. But Moses was literally born into trauma. At the time , the Egyptian king (Pharaoh) ordered all of the Hebrew baby boys to be killed. So his mother hid him in a basket and placed it in the Nile River.
Talk about a testing of faith.
The basket was discovered by Pharaoh’s daughter who raised Moses as her own in the palace. The identity crisis that Moses faced was that he grew up with Egyptian privilege, but Hebrew roots.
As he came to understand and witness the oppression of his people, he crashed out. He killed an Egyptian. Fearing the consequences, he ran away from his problems and became a shepherd.
He was a man who let fear force him into hiding, far from purpose and the calling God had over his life.
That’s where God found him.
Not in the palace.
Not when he was at his best.
But in the wilderness. Hiding. Avoiding. Just… surviving
When God Interrupts Hiding From Destiny
By the time we meet Moses in Exodus 3, he’s far from the palace raised prince anymore. He’s a shepherd, tending sheep in the wilderness.
“This is it.” He must have thought. “My past? Too messy. My purpose? Long gone”
But then God gets Moses’ attention with a burning bush that isn’t consumed by fire. In that moment, the Lord shares with Moses “I’m sending you to Pharoah to set my people free.”
Can you imagine being Moses in that moment?
God is saying, “Hey, you. The one with the traumatic childhood. The one with a record. The one who ran. The one who’s been in hiding. Yes, YOU! You’re the one I’m calling.”
But Who Am I?
Moses did what we all do. Try to tell God that we know ourselves better than He knows us even though He is the one who created us through a bunch of excuses.
Moses immediately begins to go down his rap sheet of why he is not qualified.
Who am I that I should go?
What if they don’t believe me?
I’m not a good speaker.
Please send someone else.
Moses didn’t feel ready. He didn’t feel worthy. He didn’t feel capable.
Sound familiar?
Because when God told me back in 2020, “Social media is the answer,” I did exactly what Moses did.
I questioned. I delayed. I denied.
I convinced myself that I was too broken, too inadequate, too “not enough” to be used by God.
But just like God said to Moses, He says to us:
“I will be with you” – Exodus 3:12
Not that you will have all the answers.
Not that you will feel super confident.
Just that “I will be with you.”
That’s the promise. And for God, that’s enough.
Choosing Obedience
I didn’t finally say yes because I got over myself.
I said yes because I finally hit rock bottom of frustration, burnout, and spiritual exhaustion.
I had to ask myself: How can I expect God to bless what I am trying to do, if I haven’t even done what I was supposed to do.
The only way to experience the fullness of God’s blessing is to choose to have faithful obedience.
Without faith, it is impossible to please God.
Why My Story Matters
I used to believe my pain disqualified me from purpose. How could someone who has dealt with
Depression and anxiety
Bullying and racism
Abuse and assault
Eating disorders and self harming
Identity confusion
Suicidal thoughts and actions
…ever be used by God?
But God didn't allow me to live for me. He preserved me for impact.
My brand – Your Wellness Homegirl – was born out of that healing.
This is my worship unto the Lord. This is how I honor the God who saved me.
So Why Youtube?
Because it gives me the space to teach, testify, and tend to the souls that I might not reach otherwise.
Because obedience doesn’t always make sense – but it always matters.
Because healing isn’t instant, and there’s someone out there who needs to know that.
And maybe, just maybe…
Someone who is on the edge will see my story and choose to stay.
Final Thoughts
This blog – and this Youtube channel – is more than content.
It is a public display of my obedience. It is an invitation to stop running and start trusting.
So if you have ever battled with doubt…
Felt too broken for purpose…
Or questioned why God would choose you…
Just know… He already did. And He is not changing His mind!
Let’s Connect
Drop a comment below: What’s something God’s asked you to do that you’ve been scared to start?
Follow me on socials:
IG: @thebadiasafa
Tiktok: @thebadiasafa
Youtube: @thebadiasafa
Facebook: Badia Weeks
